JAYA HEY!!

Lone i walk,on lone lands
Capricious,aimless,
Treading the way where wind is blowing
My mind contemplated I am not alone
But now it has affirmed the notion
Yeah I am alone
No family,no friends
In the end its me
Just me
My solitude ,my biggest anguish
Its the darkest cave you can ever find
But even the darkest one have a vent
And its the time when I brozen through one
Its the time when I realized my aim
Its the time when I broke my solitude
Its the time when I started believing
In the end its not just you,but
In the end its you and your aim..


It was last day at school,my last board examination,every one was so tensed before the exam that they hardly realized that it was the end, the end of a phase ,a frolic one indeed.

Ended those three hours and suddenly it seeemed like a wizard has casted some emotional spell and all of a sudden everyone realized what Iwas fearing for last one month,leaving the school,leaving your dear ones,heading forward in life to achieve what you desire ,or may be in my case to achieve what my brigadier father desire.I decided to meet Riya for one last time,we agreed upon meeting in library,which few months ago looked to me the most romantic place on earth but not anymore,rather it has started haunting me now and I was very glad that this is the last time I had to be there.

There comes she without making me to wait long ,an unusual stuff which was,she sat on the other side of that study table instead of sitting besides me.I faced her eyes and Without beating about the bush asked straight "why are you doing this to me","because of you Karan",she replied firmly,"because of your attitude,because of your aimless life,beacause of you joining the army","ok so the problem lies there,I see",I said,"NO!!...the problem is not that you are joining the army but the problem is that you don't want to join the army and still you are,because of your father ,don't you have something of your own,don't you want to have something of your own?one day your dad will ask you to marry some girl and you will leave me,what will I do then Karan?",she said with the same firmness which seemed so great to me some time back,I felt so helpless as I really didn't want to end this ,Riya was such an integral part of my life,but there was nothing much I could have done ,as I didn't have courage to go against dad,I stood quietly and started walking away,"will you not say even a word Karan?", her voice stopped me,and I said without looking towards her"don't you love me Riya",silence prevailed for a while,a breaking voice broke that silence as she said"I used to Karan,I used to",tears dropped from my eyes when I realized her crying,tears are infectious you know,I started walking again and again her blubbering voice stopped me "I hope a day will come Karan when you will realize what you want from life" and those were the last words which I heard from my childhood sweetheart.

Mum watched me as she saw me packing bags,I saw her moist eyes which were telling me the entire story,she doesn't wanted me to join the army,but then its the male dominated Indian society ,my father's words were like mark on a stone,and she knew it infact she knew it since her marriage,she loved him too and respected his decision,but then there are moments when your heart overcome your brain and this was one of them,she hugged me and weeped like a child,no words were exchanged ,sometimes silence speak more then words.
It was the time to bid farewell ,I hugged mum and then dad ,whose eyes were saying I m proud of you son!.the train whistled,I leaned a bit forward from the gate ,as the train statrted departing, and waved my hands to mum,to dad,to my city,to my friends and to Riya.It was the time when I felt that in the end its just you all alone.

Years passed at Khadakvasla where I was getting trained ,I was a good student and why not,after all bravery was in my genes ,in my blood,but wheteher it was in my heart i didn't know.After the days of hard training ,the time came,the passing out paraid, which is such a proud moment for every NDA student and their parents,it was a proud moment for my parents too but for me I didn't know.Dad hugged me and his eyes were again full of pride when he saw that badge which read Lieutenant Karan Sharma,I gave him a gentle smile,whether it was fake or genuine I didn't know.

I was commissioned in the 1/11 Gurkha Rifles of the Indian Army and I was posted at Srinagar,it was may 26th,1999 when the incharge of my post told us that its the war,war against Pakistani intruders in Kargil.
WAR,thats the dreaded word I never wanted to hear in my life,I was reluctant to join army because of that ,I always wondered why to waste my life fighting with people unknown,I never wanted to join army because I always had a firm belief that I can do a lot for myself,my family and my nation by being an engineer or a doctor and that too without risking my life,but as they say no one can change your fate and then I didn't want to disappoint my dad,yeah again its dad.

It was then when I heard the news of death of my childhood friend squadron leader Varun Chauhan,who was tortured and murdered by the Pakistani soldiers when his mig-21was hit by an enemy's stinger missile , he succesfully ejected himself from the fighter plane,but was unfortunately captured by the Pakis.They stabbed him many a times ,tortured him ,and finally shot twice through the ear and chest.The news shocked me,for a while I lost all my senses,evrything looked dark,I ringed mum she told me everything about Varun's last rituals,she told me how every one broke into tears when Varun's five year old son Ankur on seeing a coffin draped in tricolour ,asked his mum innocently"mum who is in this box?,where is my father I want to salute him",mum further told me how there was no dry eye around when Ankur helped by his relatives lit the pyre in the presence of a large number of Air Force personnel and civilians while auspicious Mantras were chanted.

As I said goodbye to mum I realized the fear of not seeing me again in my mum's voice, her voice shivered when she said take care my son.I was all shattered by the news of my friend's death in such circumstances but at the same time I was feeling very proud for having a friend like Varun,he sacrificed himself for his country,his death was not a waste ,he died to ensure the safety of people of India,for safety of cowards like me,yes coward ,thats what I felt at that moment.

Still i didn't wanted to go there,somewhere in my heart the death of Varun scared me,I was scared to loose my life,to loose my mum,to loose any hope of getting Riya back in my life.I wanted to flee but don't know what was stopping me,may be it waz dad or may be Riya.I kept on moving with my troop ,it was then when I saw numbers of coffins draped in tricolour in various military buses,exactly the way mum described how Varun's body was laid in a coffin draped in national flag,the scene gave me goosebumps,suddenly the fiery noise of guns ,bombs and artilleries ceased,it was silence all around,Varun's face came infront of me,the scene of Ankur liting the pyre of his father became vivid to me,I was swetting in chilling weather,I heard a voice,the voice of Varun,"its the time Karan to take revenge of my death,of the deaths of your fellow soldiers,its the time to do something for your country,for your motherland,".As the voice of Varun faded away , the last words I heard from my sweetheart echoed in my ear "I hope a day will come Karan when you will realize what you want from life".

It was the time when I found the vent in the darkest cave of loneliness,it was the time when I realized my aim,it was the time when I broke my solitude.

The first thing I did when I reached my post ,(just a few miles before the Khalubar,where I had to lead my platoon to force back the Paki infiltrators,)I called Riya, "Hello",a voice from other side came ,GOD!!..how much time have passed since I heard that sweet voice,it was silence all over ,which again was broken by her as she said "KARAN?",I said"Riya,I love you", an incoherent voice said,"I love you too Karan,and there is no need to say that you have realised what you want to do",I was overwhelmed on hearing this and infact my aim grew stronger that moment,and I replied in a voice as firm as of hers"I'll come back soon Riya,wait for me".The line got disconnected,but till then it became very clear to me that how much she loves me and infact that infused oodles of confidence and courage in me.

The time came ,I lead my platoon to Khalubar,the enemy was sitting at a higher altitude,so it was very easy for them to spot any movement in day light,so we decided to attack after the sunset,but however my platoon came under heavy and intense enemy fire from the surrounding heights,there were total five enemy positions from where intense firing was coming.I ordered my platoon to give me cover fire when I surged ahead of my troop and charged at the enemy.I got wounded in my shoulder and leg,still I closed in on the first bunker and went on in hand to hand combat , killed two of the enemy and captured the first bunker.The troop charged at the enemy and fell upon them.My leg and shoulder were critically wounded but to my utter surprise I wasn't feeling any pain,instead every wound was encouraging me to kill more of them,the dead faces of my fellow soldiers were flashing infront of my eyes.The blood was oozing out of my body but still i fought and we captured four bunkers and it was the last one left when a bullet impinged in my chest ,I fell,my eyes got closed but not before I saw my platoon capturing that fifth and last bunker.

It is the end,but I am not alone,as for the last time I opened my eyes to see tricolour waving in full honour,I am with my accomplished goal,with the satisfactionof clearing the debt of my motherland.Riya no matter what happens,but I'll keep my promise of coming back,may be I'll come back draped in tricolour,but then thats the best entry I could have ever made to meet my love again.Dad,I hope I made you proud,I never said it dad but I love you,love you too much,and mum you are the best mum in this world.



The story is true account of incidents happened with squadron leader Ajay Ahuja(depicted as Varun Chauhan)the first one to die in operation vijay,the battlefield part of Karan's story is inspired by the incidents happened with lieutanant Manoj Pandey who bravely captured the batlik sector and khalubar post for India,he had hand to hand combat with the pakis and defeated them.
As on 26th july we celebrate 10 years of Kargil victory I salute all the Kargil martyrs .
JAYA HEY!!